Unfurling:

Young leaves breathe warm air,

Engorged by the sap rising – 

Essence of freshness.

About Basho Barr

Inspired by the great Japanese Haiku master, Matsuo Basho, I try to capture a daily moment in a small but perfectly formed Haiku.
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5 Responses to Unfurling:

  1. Mona says:

    Simple and refreshing!
    I, for one, can’t seem to stick to under 17 syllables no matter how hard I try 😦
    Please check out my first attempt at Haiku on WordPress- http://monarathour.wordpress.com/2013/04/17/barista/
    Appreciate any opinions or critical comments on it.

    • Basho Barr says:

      Thanks Mona. I enjoy the challenge of trying to fit more and more into the 5, 7, 5 three line format. Doing one a day really helps. I like your poem even if it is a bit long-winded 😉 Only joking. It’s lovely and it says a lot. I would probably write, ‘Rain on the window, Two coffees on our table – I sit quite alone.’ It doesn’t quite capture everything you wrote, but I think the essence is there. With haiku, you have to dig and squeeze all the meaning out of it. Master Basho said ‘a haiku that reveals 70 – 80% of its subject is good, one that reveals only 50-60% we never tire of.’

      I hope you’re not still feeling lashed 😦

      • Mona says:

        No seriously, I do know that it IS a too long-winded to be called a Haiku!
        I think Haiku is too short for my taste, but i don’t think I’ll give up so soon, i just started! A fellow WordPress-er Greg (http://picaflor1968.wordpress.com/) introduced me to another poem form called ‘tanka’. It’s allows more room for thought because of the length.
        I like your haiku 🙂 But like you said, it doesn’t give out much of what I was trying to say.
        Well, I lashed out a part of my lashing in that faux-haiku 😀

      • Basho Barr says:

        Yes, tanka might suit you better 🙂 I hope you keep writing haiku though. I love them so much.

      • Mona says:

        Hmm… Maybe I will write both of them, alternately 😀

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